Saturday, July 08, 2006
band today sucked the most!!! i don't even want to think abt it... but my blood is still boiling even up till now. if i could just pick up the courage to leave! AND HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW IT'S LIKE TO BE TREATED LIKE SOME SHIT, BEING TOSSED FROM ONE PART TO ANOTHER! NO, YOU DON'T! COS YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THAT SITUATION! freaking pissed... u dun ever understand me anyway! and you'll never will! and i didn't say that playing the alto part was terrible. i'm in fact enjoying that part. and the bass clarinet part is fine too... but have you tried playing it! it sucked! the keys were stuck for your info... if you've been living in your ignorant world! it's not that i don't want to play the other parts, but i bet you haven't tried... everytime u go back to playing the Bb clarinet, the tone sucks! even geraldine also knows... playing the bass clarinet part is actually that bad, cos there's no kick! while the whole section is enjoying their melody, i'm playing a part that is monotonous! and what do you mean by every instrument that went to me all spoilt... it's so freaking not true lah! i take care of all the instruments. you are too preoccupied just to notice. to think you have the cheek to say that it was deliberate. i didn't drop the instrument on purpose... i just didn't lock the case. it wasn't a deliberate act... cos you weren't looking. yinchi and cliff were right beside me... and even they understand. mind you... i had to keep three instruments. you? one! and i didn't argue with chelsea nor yirong about the scores. pls lah... i tried playing the bass clarinet for mononoke. but no sound came out... and if you are going to blame me for spoiling the instrument, i'm so sorry that it's spoilt! but instead of stoning while others are playing, why not just take the score from yirong to play? she had extra Eb alto sax parts... i would rather play than sit there to rot. and yes, i did play the bass clarinet. despite my unwillingless, i still played that part! so you can't say that i'm disobeying ms sia. think abt it! melz: i've been thinking abt what you said if you really want to know. i know i'm needed which is why i continue to come back for band, playing the alto part. had i realise that i'm not needed, i would have skipped band like the baritone sax player and some other trombonist! and yes, i can play the Bb cos that's the part that i've been playing for the past few years since sec 1. think! why put a Bb clarinetist into other parts when he is more comfortable playing Bb. if after reading this, you're still not appeased, just come tell me. i'll make your life easier by keeping my mouth shut. you won't have to bother talking to me! you can also complain to mrs lau that i make your life miserable... she'll help u by taking me out of band! seriously, i love the section but if you think that i'm just a pain in your neck... i'll leave to make the whole section feel better and it will not hinder the band's dream of getting gold. probably without me, the whole band could even get top! you should know... if i did not enjoy the alto part, i wouldn't have tried to search for the alto sax part for colonel bogey and practice painstakingly through the whole morning. for the bass clarinet part... i wouldn't have lugged that crap piece of instrument to miss sia's car to be sent for repair. i could have left it in the band room. hope you read this and understand my plight. it's really painful. whilst you on your side, are feeling pissed off at me... try to understand!!! it's not easy... even after talking to candice and vincent, i'm still in a bad mood. not much with melz though. i hope she understands. like what vincent said, i think it's not worth quarreling with any of the clarinetists. it will just make my life miserable. i think i need a break... to cool down and just reflect on my mjc band life. i guess no one will understand me... cos i'm just another soul, forgotten and despised! i want to go the beach and scream out till i let all this misery out of me... to cast all this burdens and worries into the sea. i wish i could just go out with my close tk friends... they are one group who will understand me without passing comments. shuuji lets me say anything i like. sally says hi to me in mj all the time. christine lets me tease her. zukai who cheers me up with all his crazy antics. anisa who makes me smile all the time. i miss all of you. real bad... i'm desperate. oh well... i guess i need to be alone for some time... RIP. manddaw
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