Saturday, February 26, 2005
i lost my wallet! freaking thing... i was on the way home just now in bus 14, then i dropped my wallet without realising it till a few minutes later. though there wasn't much inside, i still feel the pain of losing it. sigh. the inconvenience really irritates me. i have four bucks inside, my ez-link card worth 15 bucks and a 10 bucks worth of borders giftcard. sigh... all the neoprints taken with my close friends too... i hope the kind soul will return it to bedok control room... i desperately want my wallet back. it all started when i had to go redeem a pint of mac nut ice cream for my mother's birthday, thus i went to haagen dazs. after i alighted at the stop, i forgot to check whether i had my wallet with me. sigh, so now i not only did not buy the ice cream, but i had to encounter a very impatient taxi driver who was so impatient. sigh... if only i dun have to meet all the unpleasant people in this world, my life would be more enjoyable. the taxi driver was like, "so what if you lose your wallet, my business ah?!" his face was also another sickening sight... exactly like mohammad's face. grrrrrrr. i detest people like that. i am fine at the moment cause i have vented my anger on adrian and daryl kor. called the bus company already, they would inform me when they received my wallet. god bless the honest soul and to the person who has a heart of greed, go perish! went for the flag-day thing again today... met up with sally, christine and shuuji at KFC bedok after my chinese tuition. sigh, my life is so busy. beatrice came soon after with her collection tin. so we were slacking thru from 10.30am to 11 sth. then we took a slow walk to bedok CC with anisa. after we collected our tin, we just went around collecting money. the most confusing thing about the whole donation thing is that they said it was "COMPULSORY VOLUNTEERISM!" crazy school. the school either is blur about the meaning compulsory & volunteer. they should go back to primary school or even worse, kindergarden. so in the end because chia wanted the sec 4s back in school by 1.30pm so i, christine & beatrice grouped together while shuuji, anisa, sally & huimin went their own ways. did not meet them after that. we just walked around the bedok south area. i actually got a few dollar notes. haha, a rich yet generous gentleman gave me 10 bucks. a malay lady gave me 2 bucks. and poor christine pang was panting like a poor little girl who kept complaining of fatigue. "dun walk so fast leh. give me some people leh. dun snatch all my customers. hey, go behind me!" haha... so comical. well, i talked a lot. i was asking all the adults to donate and many people upon seeing us with cans, walked in another direction. sigh, so sad sia! fortunately, christine was there for me to laugh at. my can, though 1/4 full, was light when i went to turn it in. heavier than christine's and beatrice's. the band members were also returning their tins when we went back. then took bus 31 to parkway for lunch with christine & beatrice. ate cheese fries, mashed potato & popcorn chicken. so lazy after that, so took a taxi back to school. i forgot to say, weiling does not care whether we are sick or not. she is a very mean SYO clarinet teacher. she scolded me because i did not go for band prac when she does not know that i am still sick. sigh... my intonation today was somehow very smooth. practiced singapore rhapsody & choice piece. all the running notes are making me dizzy already. chia's expectations very high... sigh. so there are currently 19 people from clarinet section who are joining the competition, as compared to 2003's 18. i missed playing with the seniors like lishan, cherilyn, beehwee. but let's hope for the best for this year's syf. may we win the gold with honours. i dream of the day when we go for the comp. when the judge makes their decision. when the commentator announces, "tanjong katong secondary school band...... gold with honours!" the whole band would surely erupt in tears of joy. talking about indoor, i still remember 2003 indoor. i was so touched when i played noah's ark. the piece was successful in making me cry after the comp, especially since it was my first indoor. when the lady announced, "band number 42, tanjong katong secondary school band...... gold" all i could think of was "we did it!" sigh... the memories will forever stay! deyna was a great conductor for that piece.  well... i have to go now... need to study. cya people. take care while i suffer emotionally, mentally and physically! manddaw
Friday, February 25, 2005
have been keeping late nights. will study till wee hours of the morning for all the various tests. when will i have the time to really take a good break? the march holidays does not count for me because i have social studies and chinese test. what's the surprise... guo zhao xian gives us test to kill us only. maybe i will get my rest when i finally get sick. am i cursing myself? sigh. got back e maths paper already cos mrs ong marked it in a short period of a night. i got 22.5/30... depressing! i was so shocked with the marks... i barely got an A1. sigh, i must be losing my touch on everything. my chemistry also just received an A1... 15/20. sad rite! my physics also keep on getting a B3... short of a mark for an A2. well, the only thing i can do is to work harder and change the fate of my future. shazana came back to school today to see the band. she says the band is really under performing. the more she says that, the more miserable i am. chia had a test today... individually! and i wasn't there! what the heck! so the probability of me not joining competition because of my poor attendance is probably a 1. which means i am not joining... mr chia may not want me in the comp in the first place. think of it... i have participated in syf'02, '03, '04... if i dun join this one, will seem like a reject! omg... i am really a pessimist. valerie... must go buy present for kor! next week no more time already. ACJC concert band is having a concert on the 30th of march. tickets priced at 21 bucks i think and it will be held at the esplanade... those who want to go... just go if you are interested! they playing phantom and some other pieces. well.. before i fall asleep in front of the computer, i better go drink some coffee and continue studying. *yawn* hope to finish geog elect revision before 2am. selamat malam. m.a.n.d.d.a.w.w.a.m.a.s.s manddaw
Thursday, February 24, 2005
i do not want people taking the pictures lah... copyright! very tired. exhaustion has taken over already. i sleep in class everyday... haha. but the teachers dun really notice. :p today was a boring day again... hot and very irritable. i hope the monsoon rain is here. i rather it be raining than everyday at 35oC ... that's why everday i get so moody. must be the weather. registered for the 'o' levels today already. have to pay up soon. very tense already. getting very worked up now. i think i must do more e & a maths TYS. if i get at most 10... i will jump over the moon! arrrgggggg! had the e maths test after school today... hope i get an A again. hmmm... after that i and audrey went to caltax with stanley. ate pies, noodles and rested in the kiosk. waited for huiying and chalit to come join us. the three of us crapped a lot. about our friends... relationships... haha! typical teenagers. then zukai came. a more fun! crapped even more. *bluetooth* lol... then after eternity, the both of them came. huiying, as usual, very noisy. chalit was however very quiet... sigh. chalit... dun be sad leh! i see you like that... i also very sad. talk more k! u have been a really great friend. without you around... will be very bored. so i say, really glad knowing you. take care ya. was supposed to go meet val but she said she was so tired... slacker lah she! always very lazy one... went to samantha's house. hanged out a while. her previous house was nicer on the whole... but this one is equally nice. she also very stressed i think. she kept complaining about collecting her higher chinese results tomorrow cos she was so nervous. haha... all the best sam! tomorrow the sec 4s will be getting their long awaited results already. i feel very nervous for them. i wish jiayan, shazana, wileen, huisian, stacy, siumin, yentinge all the best. zhihan ah... dunno about her. annabel, andrew, khayriyyah... hope u all do well! cya tmr! i miss blessed14. sigh! manddaw
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
my comp sucks lor... pentium 4 and yet so slow! firstly, must complain about toad! he complained about me not putting my tie properly when i went into the library. toot! taking out what! bodoh! that guy is a disgrace to the school. he has the face of the toad and he does not talk fluently. sigh... the school is deteriorating in terms of the standard of staff! how sad! just now for differentiation of small increments and approximations... i and anisa were doing the problems furiously. i guess sitting with her can really be a motivation cos can do better. can concentrate better... i can also relieve stress by talking to her. talk about killing two birds with one stone. the english recounts test just now was unthinkable. i was crapping all the time about my emotions... and it was really lame! haha... did not even know what i was writing about. andrea's story was good. murder, split personality. so intriguing. just now we were discussing about our prom/grad nite in class just now. so intense. we were debating whether to have it at suntec city or at sheraton hotel. i guess suntec city is out cos sally, christine, anisa & me opted for sheraton. then our own prom nite came along. they want to go to daryl's riverboat the following day to celebrate it. we will have the whole of sentosa to ourselves. go cycling, stargazing, hang out on the top deck. jacuzzi. lots of things to eat too. haha. christine wants to marry daryl. how amusing! they were so excited about the idea. i can hardly wait for it too... sounds like it will be a success. have to seek for permission from him first... perhaps he will allow! however, this only applies to some people... and no gatecrashing! strictly for those i invite only. lol, very mean rite? kk... gtg, spencer rocks! manddaw
Sunday, February 20, 2005
did not do much today. stayed at home to study a bit. tests tmr... missed church. read through social studies... everything just came back to me. all the facts and stuff. i was so amazed with myself. must study more to remember the facts. did not really study for add maths test. just read through all the assignments given by miss tan. hope it works cos my brain wasn't working after 2pm. so i studied social studies for two whole hours from 10. at 12. i practically slacked. read books and listened to music. yesterday i went out with adrian, yiwen, yinzi, audrey, sally, huimin & mindy. watched hide and seek at suntec city. hung out for quite some time before we watched it at 5.15pm. i must say it was a great show. the sound effects astounded me. it was so loud that sally covered her ears. huimin used her handbag to cover her eyes. sitting beside was a painful experience because i kept getting hit by her. she was so scared! audrey was scared too i think. screams could be heard so many times... and so much blood! gory! after that had dinner at mac. adrian talked to mindy a lot. bickered with each other. audrey did not talk much like me. sally also talked a lot to huimin, who was interested in watching the tv. i did not know what happened to me. then audrey went home with mindy. felt moody yesterday after the show... kept quiet thoughout the whole way home. just kept my mouth shut. really moody! i think kor, sally & huimin got so sick of me cos i was so quiet. kor cheered me up a little cos he accompanied me wherever i went. he was my companion yesterday and was always beside me. which made me feel more thankful that God gave him to me as a big brother. the girls took a long time shopping. i guess i know what to buy for kor already... adidas shirt. haven bought for him yet. shuuji, must go buy for adrian k. saw benjamin eio, nathaniel & olinda at suntec yesterday. singing for some total defence performance. from the third floor, could see their heads only. but it was quite cool. other than that... nothing much! just hope my day in school tmr will be fine. no hiccups! i desperately need a break from all the tests before i break down. the autonomous status is getting to p chan's head! all she thinks of is making us stressed. sigh... well, zzzzz time! syonara people... tanner out! manddaw
Friday, February 18, 2005
the photography lesson has started. and the first day was quite boring. leonard just taught us the basics and allowed us to handle his camera. other than that, just teased andrew throughout the whole two periods. he gave us a survey to do and the questions were like this... what are you hobbies? where is your favourite hangout? what is the title of your favourite book? as usual, i got bored so i teased him. seriously, andrew is one person who is nice to make fun off... but i won't go overboard. my suggestion for his answers were... reading biology textbook and doing add maths questions. video world because he could do read his biology book. his fav book was the add maths textbook. haha... sorry! but cannot stop lah! fine, today it will be the last time i tease him regarding this. school as usual sucked cos of the people in it. the class commitee people were so irritating when they stood outside the class. toad, foo, ng... etc. but went to parkway twice this week to relieve stress. today, we went again except that anisa and christine weren't with us. so shuuji, me, sally & beatrice went to banquet to have our lunch. ate fried oyster... *yum*. we talked about lots of things. mr tee & that fry. pak ho & sally. haha. then beatrice left early so we went to mph. shuuji calls it mad people hospital. he is very lame. spent some time there reading the books. after that we left for bedok. on the way, shuuji was complaining about the VS people who he had a nasty experience with. he told us they were smelly. however, the VJC peeps were okay. i get very envious when i see so many people in VJC. haha. nth much happened after that cos i went for my maths tuition with mr kheng. he complained a lot about my cousin, maryanne. did not really care though cos i dun mix with her. it is her problem if she does not want to study, no one owes her anything. if she thinks she can just go on without studying, she can just go to ITE. i am not being mean but i get very fed-up when he complains about her. well, never liked her much anyway. tmr i may be going out with adrian, audrey etc. watch movie i guess. constantine. btw, stanley rated my blog a 3 out of 5. not fair, so little! grrrrr. convert it to percentage and it is only 60%! manddaw
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
for dunno what reasons. i may complain but i hope shuuji will not chide me or anything. i just feel sad. firstly, i still have to see toad's face. he somehow seems to be getting uglier by the day. his dull face and fat paunch makes me think he is toad falstaff. he can also command his zoid, the toad monster. sigh. why must he be the assistant OM? one is already bad enough! the sec 3 peeps also piss me off every single day. as i have mentioned earlier, they stare at you when you are in class. O_O is the kind of look they give. so i always give them the sarcastic look. O_o haha. secondly, wensheng has gone back to australia. he did not even talk to me! what kind of a person is he? i called him to wish him happy new year and he just say, "okay". sigh. that guy is also not talking to me! busy with what... band? pls lor... he complains tk band's tone is horrible. is he that good himself? tuba player? and he does not even bother to reply my messages. sian! the people are getting from bad to worse! arrrrgggg! i wanna be alone sometimes. thirdly, i am stressed. but i am doing sth to curb it... i am studying! christine is supposed to help me in lit. andrew is still helping me in maths. i am helping myself in chinese. as for the others, i dunno lah! maybe i post some advice for myself. to do well in all my subjects: 1) do all my homework conscientiously 2) study for all my tests 3) have a positive attitude 4) listen in class 5) cut down on tv (i am actually doing it) that is what all the valedictorians say... i hope it works. had band today. finally went after missing three practices. there was only one word to describe it... miserable i was so lethargic. sianzation to the max! i wasn't really listening to him talk. varun pissed me off by saying i disappointed chia. what is his problem. i am sick and he still criticises. i hate that indian guy! not going to elaborate much on what happened today in band. today there wasn't any literature remedial so i was spared from the agony of hearing poon talk... i feel she is good lah. except i dun like her much. maybe i should ask her for more help? should i? whatever lah! then went with shuuji, sally, huimin, christine, beatrice, anisa & sally to parkway. ate at BK. very hungry... i want two mushroom swiss burgers but i only ate one. haha... too fat already! then after that went back for band lor. well, tmr have test. better study! now talking to my big cousin, felix. hmmm... time passes so fast. now he 20 over le... i miss my younger days. power rangers... haha. lame sia! the blue ranger rocks! now, i watch charmed... haha! the power of three will set you free! fine, i'll end my post with lyrics from jesse mccartney's "beautiful soul" I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul You're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna hold I wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul I know that you are something special To you I'd be always faithful I want to be what you always needed Then I hope you'll see the heart in me I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul You're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna hold I wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul Your beautiful soul, yeah You might need time to think it over But im just fine moving forward I'll ease your mind If you give me the chance I will never make you cry c`mon lets try I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul You're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna hold I wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul Am I crazy for wanting you Baby do you think you could want me too I don't wanna waste your time Do you see things the way I do I just wanna know if you feel it too There is nothing left to hide I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul You're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna hold I wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul Your beautiful soul, yeah chao! manddaw
Monday, February 14, 2005
woke up late. 6.45am to be exact. rushed like siao! went with my idiotic elder brother to the bus-stop. guess what... NO CAB! freaking pissed lor. of all times, the taxis were either hired or the drivers were blind. i waited about 15mins before one malay driver picked me up. by then, really angry already since there were some people who hopped out of nowhere and stole my taxi. *curse* and *curse* lor. then halfway through, sally called me and told me she was late too and asked me to pick her up at her bus-stop. so i tot she could accompany me in being reprimanded by the toad! in the end, when we reached school, we were just in time for assembly. so she paid the fare and spared me from spending money. haha... $$ saved! well, i was saved from writing in the latecomers' file... so i perked up a little. sec 1 to till now... haven written in the file b4... how fortunate! listened to the presentation by cliff, ruth, uraina & talia... quite good! oh, i was one of the guinea pigs for their product. i must say... i love it! the smell of the beetroot was nice. like agaragar... *yum*! during a maths lecture... i and sally kept talking about power rangers... lame la! i remember my primary school days when i used to watch the serial programme on saturday. haha. my favourite was the blue ranger billy. so cool lor. triceratops! today, a maths was so boring cos it was mrs foo. so i and sally just crapped. oh, sally and anisa gave me sweets and chocolates for valentines' day... thank you! however, my maid ate the ferraro roche. haven given them anything yet though... still have to buy adrian's belated birthday present. after school had physics test... hope i get a good grade. then went to parkway with anisa, sally and christine. tchen sat behind sally and christine. haha. we made fun of him on the way there. look at their blogs for details... i only remembered one thing. "ah huat dear... go go go! kill that crab!" we were teasing tchen about going home to prepare dinner for his wife. i tried calling shuuji to tease him but he hang up on me! how could he! haha... funny sia! oh, that TA guy is 'hem hem' okay too lah huH! :) ate at macs with sally and christine. anisa had to leave cos the sister was bugging her. crapped lor... lots and lots. between us though! then after that took bus 14 from katong. sally lor... had to meet someone! btw, the world is so small. met my cousin, jeremy leng on the bus. zhengjie and xinlei were also on the bus... behind me though. the lovebirds! then reached home. my stupid brother pissed me off by telling my mother i took a cab! his mouth is gigantic! some people are just KPOs. then my mother gave me a lecture just now lor... on borrowing money! sigh... kk, i stop borrowing money lah k! heehee... anyway, finally got my physics and chemistry file sorted out. proud of myself... very neat! very meticulous! haha. Happy Valentine's Day to all lovers... message to marco & valerie: take care! love u jie!
lame... these people really love their idols! manddaw
Thursday, February 10, 2005
just came back from adrian's house with sally & huimin. had a great time there. joked, crapped, laughed and was just plain noisy. well, they came to my house first. with benjamin quek. watched "the day after tomorrow" until at one point ben had to leave for his cousin's house. then the other three continued to be lame until 7. my house was filled with pleasant noise... haha... they made my day lah! adrian as usual was always lame and such a toot. he cracked jokes and no one laughed... haha. the lamest kor in the whole wide world. but still the best i guess. his father and sister were at home when we went to his place for dinner and they were very hospitable. friendly. still remembered the time they brought me home from school after band prac... kor had to wait for me. then his sister kept commenting on my cheeks again! -_-"... why do people talk about my cheeks so much? do i look so red like a lobster? sigh. maybe i still very young and innocent... :p. i hope you all enjoyed yourselves making noise at my house... my maid, yati, said adrian was cute! *rolls eyes* are you sure... he so thicked-skinned! haha... mean. siao. what other things to say...? hmm... nth else leh. generally good except very bhb lor. haha. that's why i very tmr school liao... but i still in the holiday mood. MOE is outrageous lor... one day also dun want to give it to us... why can't they just let us have a break for just one more day. we need it lor. sec 4s especially. sigh... december- christmas january- birthday february-chinese new year (consecutive months) haha... the blessings keep rolling in... if only chinese new year can be longer. so yesterday did not do much. only one family came to my house for visitation, cos the rest were meeting at my grandaunt's place. when we met, chaos lor! cos when you put all the jokers in one place, chaos reigns.. muahaha! joked around with my aunts. watched american idol with geneviene, stephanie & egan. i miss them so... egan especially! egan, my dear little cousin. very cute and adorable. then they also commented on my cheeks. "still as rosy as ever!" they commented on my height. "wah, grow taller again ah?" lol... nth to say. still quite short leh... 175m only. k lah, average height lah. did not eat much cos not feeling well lor... giddy lor. weather so warm. surprisingly, this year more 10 dollar notes than 2 dollar notes. god's marvellous work. :) this sat maybe i will be going out but plans not confirmed... 10.00am - go samantha's house 12.00pm - meet adrian, sally, huimin go out 4.00pm - valerie, kelly coming to my house hope it goes well... meanwhile, good nite people. manddaw
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
everytime i see mohammad, i get so annoyed. he spoils my day because he is sulking every single time. he has that toad-liked face which irks me. he goes around thinking he is in a higher position that the DM. he is the ugly monster which rises from the water in power rangers and christine always laughs when i say that... haha. i like the DM... she is very caring though you see her as a fierce and strict person. she is concerned about what we do and makes sure we eat so as to have the energy to do things. bless her! more people like her will make the world a better place. today was the new year's day celebration and i was disappointed with the performance put up by the various people. dun really want to talk about it... the only performances which made me strain my neck were the teacher's comical act and the drama club dance. uncomparable to the previous years. indeed, the standard is dropping drastically. bless them though. then went to parkway with shuuji, anisa and huimin. they were so pissed with me cause i was waiting for shazana to go to school. then they all gave me that kind of "why you take so long" kind of look. sigh, i know it is my fault but you dun have to scream at me! sorry! then after everything was better, went around the shops while waiting for sally and christine. went to sembawang and i guess shuuji wanted to buy the josh groban cd for me... but i wasn't in the mood to buy anything cos i was having a splitting headache. so kept quiet while they went around. then met up with chalit... then sally and christine came. all of them went to burger king for lunch but huimin and i left for bedok interchange together. then on the bus, she kept smsing adrian kor, asking him to go to my house on the second day of chinese new year. anyone who wants to come, see how first k... i dun know whether i am going to my grandaunt's house. then after that, met up with samantha. hasn't changed much. still as blur as ever... haha. she actually lost her way around bedok. sigh. then went to macs to eat. lots of people were there too. we thought of our primary school days and just sat and ate... typical scene of two slackers. then went over to miss rich's house. though her house smaller than the previous one, but it was still as nice. her parents as usual greeted me the moment i went into their house... haha, famous sia! spent about an hour there listening to music, talking to her and her sister. had a fun time there... and she said our dimples were so deep... cool huh! facial advantages. sang taufik's i dream... mariah carey's hero. anyway, both of us used to sing a lot anyway... choir mah. as i went home, i sang 'the way you look tonight' from my best friend's wedding. haha. sian! Someday when I'm awfully low When the world is cold I will feel a glow Just thinking of you And the way you look tonight O but you're lovely With your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft There is nothing for me to love you Just the way you look tonight With each word, your tenderness grows Tearing my fear apart And that laugh that wrinkles your nose Touchs my foolish heart Lovely never never change Keep that breathless change Won't you please arrange it Cause I, I love you Just the way you look tonight Just the way you look tonight i hafta go now... take care ya. elder sister coming soon... love u all! manddaw
Sunday, February 06, 2005
have been coughing for two weeks already... sigh. how? play clarinet also cough... sian! my mother is also coughing. so it seems like my whole family is sick... my poor sister and brother-in-law are down with flu after they came back from china. then my mother and me everyday coughing... so bad! sigh... must go see doctor and take many days mc... haha! hope i get well soon before CNY so can eat all the goodies my mother has made. went to church today. played the clarinet and felt very sucky... uncle milton played the piano in some chord which made me so blur... thus i played the counter melody so badly. in conclusion, playing the clarinet also depends on my mood. on days i am not sleepy on sunday, i play better. haha... which means i must sleep well on saturday nite! my father keeps talking about the different clarinet models and he says he may buy one for me. hmmm, but that it as a reward if i get many As for the mid year... shuuji and andrew, need your help! can;t wait for my own clarinet. wednesday is already CNY and i haven cleaned my room... still a bit of rubbish to clear. throw away some things. plan to go out with valerie and kelly they all... if they want to. they may be coming to my house with marco... if he wants to? well, val will drag him along i think. few days before CNY still have to go to school. so sian... what to do? cough... shuuji, are you still angry with me for complaining? haha... sorry lah k... dun be angry already! sigh... i very lazy to wake up tmr. i wanna sleep and stay at home. very stressed in school... everyday stay back after school for remedials and tests... sec 4 life is just not easy. but i musn't complain rite? or else shuuji will start cursing me again... just study hard lah. must be as good as shuuji and andrew in their studies... my two rolemodels rite now... if i have two great friends who are doing well in their studies, their influence should affect me too. hmmm... good logic! had dinner yesterday with my relatives. ate at some coffee shop in serangoon. service was very slow. food was okay but very little. not going to lament over it cos i feel very blessed compared to many people in the world. miss all my cousins... charmaine, felix, jeremy, justin, joseph... etc. haven seen them for a long time. now i am one of the tallest amongst them... wow! taller than korkor justin and korkorfelix... i guess. hmmm, wrong genes. my parents are of average height... not that short though. my elder sister and brother are more than 10 years older than me but i am taller than them by one head... shocking! :p anyway, just wanna wish everyone a happy lunar new year before i go off... will probably be lazy to update my blog very often after this cos i have to study. must be very conscientious this year... then go to australia with zhihan. take care ya... god bless all of you! hong baos will be coming my way i hope... $$. manddaw
Thursday, February 03, 2005
i have a feeling that all my friends are starting to hate me... have no idea why? i am drifting away from all of them. not much of a connection anymore. issit becos i am arrogant or rude? irritating? what issit then? many of them are starting to avoid me. i guess i am meant to be a loner. sigh. my life is meaningless... there is nothing to look forward to at all. i guess i just have to accept the fact that i am just an outcast. well, i am just not in the mood to blog today. sorry people. it really hurts to know that no one likes you anymore. my godbrothers all hate me... soon my godsisters too. i wanna leave all my past behind and start afresh so i won't feel the agony of being lonely. even better, if i could just be taken away to heaven now, i would have no more sufferings to endure. no more sadness. no more pain. no more misery. just pure happiness. that would be the perfect liftstyle i want. maybe God wants me to just spend more time talking to him, which is why i am feeling so lonely now. perhaps i should just drop out of SYF and concentrate more on my studies and spend more time with God. that would be a good solution to end all my problems in band. as for school, just talk to those people who wants to talk to me. no unnecessary quarrels and conflicts. the world would indeed be a better place without me talking. thank God for that. well, hope my day tomorrow would not be disastrous! manddaw
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