Friday, July 29, 2005
I was down, but now im blessed, I felt a revelation coming around, I guess it's right, it's so amazing, Everytime I see you, im alive, You're all I've got, you lift me up, The sun and the moonlight, All my dreams are in your eyes I, wanna be inside your heaven, Take me to the place you cry from, When the storm blows your way, I, wanna be the arms to hold you, Every bit of air you're breathing in, a soothing wind, I wanna be inside your heaven When minutes turn to days and years, If mountains fall I'll still be here, Holding you, until the day I die I, wanna be inside your heaven, Take me to the place you cry from, When the storm blows your way... I, wanna be inside your heaven, Take me to the place you cry from, When the storm blows your way, I, wanna be the arms to hold you, Every bit of air your breathing in, a soothing wind, I wanna be inside your heaven Ooh yes I do, I wanna be inside, your heaven. manddaw
i hope i made the right decision to enter. i know it is a terrific school becos of the courses offered. i was actually hoping to join tennis. but well, i have a bond to serve for two years. so well, make the best of it! i have to get below 20 for my o levels and i qualify. nothing much is happening this days. just more stress and more pissed. starting to avoid everyone to just be alone. i need my personal time, away from noise and stuff. i can only confide in a few people. sigh... my life is becoming so depressing. i got a 29/40 for english prelim oral. sigh... so depressing! i hope i do better for the o levels. maybe i just did not do well enough. the chinese o level results are coming out soon... after national day. i hope i score that distinction. my father timed the journey from my place to merdian jc. 12 mins by highway... so next time i dun have to wake up so early to go to school. wake up at 7 should be fine. my school is so near to MJC. cool huh? i think i will go study after this. no more time already... 4 more weeks to prelims and 100 odd days to o levels. i'm reminding myself constantly that i am practically going crazy. yesterday had a great time playing volleyball with the guys... jiamin, choonhowe, kenneth, carl, dominic, wilson vs fongxiang, weiming, me, joel, junsheng, chenxing played thru PE, then recess. it was so fun! must play again soon with these people. will be going for the tpjc band concert with germaine. hope it is as good as ACJC. i guess i will just end it here... to go relax. need some rest. play clarinet. ciao! manddaw
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
just to inform u peeps out there. i have mixed feelings... dunno whether to be ecstatic or disappointed? should i still go overseas to study? or should i pursue my tertiery education here? i'm confused! but ya, happy that they accepted me. i can't wait to join them and play in the band. so ya... be happy for me k! haha... meridian jc rocks! cos miss lai is there!!! she rocks to the core... miss u ms lai! manddaw
Monday, July 25, 2005
When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I am saved" I'm whispering " I was lost!" "That is why I chose His way." When I say, "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride I'm confessing that I stumble Needing God to be my guide. When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong I'm professing that I'm weak And pray for strength to carry on. When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of my success I'm admitting I have failed And cannot ever pay the debt. When I say, "I am a Christian" I don't think I know it all I submit to my confusion Asking humbly to be taught. When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect My flaws are too visible But God believes I'm worth it. When I say, "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain I have my share of heartaches Which is why I seek His name. When I say, "I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge I have no authority I only know I'm loved. Thank You Jesus for always being there for me in my times of sadness, that i will know you are always beside me. I pray that you will heal the hurt in my heart. Restore it that I may shine for you... manddaw
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
went for the meridian junior college DSA just now... screwed it terribly! instead of having one audition, i had three! the school is crazy! first, the sadistic clarinet section leader was all out to make my life miserable. he made me play all kinds of skills. Bb. C. Db. Eb. F. G. A. Ab... some which we never played before! sigh... then it was noah's ark. played the WHOLE of parade of the animals, WHOLE of the storm. the solo and all running notes. hmmm... he must have been pmsing. so ya... i played in front of the whole clarinet section. imagine it... it was terrifying! i'm glad it's over! also had to sight-read singapore rhapsody and invictus! SO DIFFICULT! second round of auditions was with mr tan, the band teacher in charge. he made me play the same thing... except that he was nicer and friendlier. the clarinetists there were nice... except that sadistic SL. terror! when miss seah came... she was the meanest of the lot. she made me play chromatic skills from lowest E to highest E, and a few pieces without time to sight-read. i think i screwed up real bad! so ya... my fate has been sealed. i rest my case and hope for the best! evelyn, sarah & junhui came down to support husna. so ya... she had some help. i cheated too... one of the nicer male clarinetist came to help me with one difficult part of invictus. the president of the band was nice too... but well, i can't comment much cos first impressions dun count! before the auditions, had prelim oral. it was fine i guess. mdm sonia yeo invigilated me. the whole topic was about hairdressing and working life. i hope i did not screw that up! hmmm... results will be out soon though and i hope i get my deserving A1 for oral. miss lim promised me my A1... so ya, hope i can get it! after the auditions, went back home with germaine. haven seen her in ages... saw shazana too. so ya, took the bus to pasir ris interchange and bought macdonalds. hungry... anyway, can't wait to read harry potter and the half-blood prince. i have a feeling shuuji will kill me for wanting to read it. he will also probably call me lame. but well... i'm waiting impatiently for someone to lend it to me... shuuji calls it "harry pooper and the half-boiled prince" just to spite me. dominic was being such an arsehole in school just now... he kept wanting to tell me what happened in the book... so i shut him up by snapping at him! i feel so mean, but well... he deserved it! KPO! i used to be smart last time...but education has ruined me! it's true! the education system here sucks. the stress level is at an all time high... thus, i'm fleeing to australia if i can! gonna study hard to go study there. i'll migrate there after my national service. oh, received the letter from the ministry of defence. so must train already... have to build stamina. i found out that i do long distance running easily but suck at sprints...! will get my brother-in-law to help me... so ya... i think i will go study. then when i have the time, will update u on more things in school. oh ya... i hate anwari. the sight of him just irks me! i paid him the 30 bucks for the prom nite and he actually asked me to pay up the next day. i think he's senile already. i shan't waste my blog space criticising him... such a waste of space! retards like him should go hang himself... gtg... take care peeps! p.s. will that invisible godbrother of mine pls reveal his identity! thks! manddaw
Friday, July 15, 2005
Even though we've gone our separate ways, I know you're still there for me. My pillar of support, My guardian angel. You've been my shining light, For the past few months. Holding my hand and leading me, Down the path of reality. I know how much it hurts, But I thank you for the wonderful time spent. The memories will forever be cherished, Through time and eternity. So now that we're moving on, I know that we'll still remain the best of friends. And here I am reminiscing of the good times, How wonderfully God made us, And brought us together... A momento dedicated to Andrew & Khayriyyah manddaw
Monday, July 11, 2005
My Meaningless Life
manddaw
Sunday, July 10, 2005
miserable. helpless. hopeless. i feel like dying. to end my life... the agony is just too great. my life is meaningless. no one cares anymore... i'll quote andrew's poem... 'i'm just a nobody, running this sad race'. i dun want anything anymore... i just want to be alone... so leave me alone to wallow in my misery. let me just die... manddaw
Saturday, July 09, 2005
morning. had physics in the PCCG room with mrs goh. then went for band... they had drills, sectionals etc. i miss my section... lots. took the sec 1s for basic drills. i think they need to put in a lot of effort. right allison? their basic posture not there. chins not up. instrument angle wrong. legs not lifted 90 degrees. today's huijin's birthday... Happy Birthday Huijin Happy Belated Birthday Jia Min then played with percussion a while. clashed the cymbals... haven played it since sec 1. twirling's painful! but ya, faizzah taught me rite? belphegor. anyway, i'm bored... going to play my clarinet now... ciao! manddaw
 i'm being lame...! so ya, i like this picture cos it represents me. haha... lame. it spells danger and substance... beware k! well, i'm harmless! dun be fooled. i love the identity of being a clarinetist. it is just full of attitude. anyway, going for lessons tmr. physics. ya, nite then... heroes forever.  jean ying :: in loving memory manddaw
Saturday, July 02, 2005
i have nothing much to say... i just want to go study. i miss band... but i dun wanna go back. i want to study... but i feel so lethargic. i want to watch movies... but i am just too lazy to get out of the house. my life is full of irony... i wanna do sth but... i guess i will just study... drink lots of coffee and study... sigh... i'm bored. i miss all my godbrothers... maybe i shld find more... expand from 14... haha. manddaw
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