james
4 january 1989
christian
clarinetist
rss
tkss
mjc
tkband
mjcab
saf ceremonial band b
sargasOGL
powerworks trainer
Inner Desires
buffet R13 prestige clarinet
an alto saxophone
a brand new ASUS laptop
armani code eau de toilette
complete set of harry potter adult copies
complete set of jane austen novels
ipod nano
itouch
iphone4s
rayban sunglasses
rovner ligature
m30 mouthpiece
reservice with SAF Band
feel happy again ORD bigger closet for my clothes charming blue ear studs charming cufflinks my overdued driving licence holiday with songhua and conrad trip to melbourne ipod docking station body shop white musk eau de toilette b40 lyre mouthpiece clarinet reed case picard coin pouch sennheiser earpiece 18 cards picard leather wallet ear piercing moringa bath gel
here we are again... the last day of another year. it seems like the year just flew by, that without me realising, i have already completed one year of my national service. yes, like the many people with a blog, posts on the highs and lows of this bittersweet 2009 would be inevitable. it's going to be a new start and everyone deserves a second chance to turn the tide around and make things better. so i'm not about to sit here and speculate how 2010 will turn out... nor am i going to get depressed and emo all about it. so let's just look ahead to a brand new year and the awesomeness of 2010. =) _____________________________________________________
my 2009 was a mixture of highs and lows... just like many of you readers out there. bittersweet to say the least. but it wasn't exactly horrible, and i don't take it to be so, not when there were a few highlights to my year.
1) a level results for me didn't meet my expectation in any way. utterly disappointed with that. but like i said when i received the results, regardless the results... i'll still thank the Lord for his wisdom. i'm praying for a new year of greater opportunities to study in the local universities or abroad. wherever the Lord wants me to go, i'll go. it's his will and whatever is favourable for me, God knows best. so right now, i pray that the Lord open doors and that the universities will accept me.
2) army, and primarily entering the saf band. life has been a breeze and the credit goes to the Lord. somehow, i know it is the Lord who listened to my earnest prayer and put me there. indeed, i feel so at home in the unit that no matter how much i complain about the management, i still do enjoy being there. because the people there are friggin awesome, in particular batch 79 and ceremonial band b. not forgetting the awesome people scattered amongst the other bands and an extremely nice big boss... cpt tan aik kee. =) cheers to ceremonial band b!
3) this year was a celebration of old friendships and the forging of solid new ones.
it has been a great year just knowing my girls are there. sabrina... thanks for the meet-ups, crazy LOLS at cafes and being my awesome CHEEBONG. i love you to bits. nurbaya, you've been that silent companion all along. chelsea, i'm missing you terribly you annoying duck. come back soon... canada doesn't deserve to have you all year long. angela, you're always a joy to talk to especially when i need a special prayer. jingjing, you busy woman... glad you found blood. he's a good boyfriend and i know you're in good hands.
mjcab has been darn quiet for a damn long time. yet, regardless of what happens to the band... i know we're still there, secretly breeding... stalling time before the grand revelation. alumni, i miss all of you. those late nights in the band room, practicing for wadever concerts. and yes, i'm looking forward to more of those. THREE CHEERS TO MJCAB!
although i haven't seen the two of you monkeys in a long time, i know you two are still waiting for me to organise some outing you freaking bummers. yes, you two are celebrating my 21st birthday cos you saw me grow up from that innocent little clarinet boy in sec 1. haha. so thank you marco sumitra and valerie lim for being a part of my life.
for being the only chinese in this group, i say cheers! haha. it's amazing how we just fit like parts of a jigzaw. we clique despite the racial and religious difference. but who cares, you make fantastic friends and i don't even realise i'm different. maybe becos i speak slightly mat-tishly. but in any case, zul, izzati, aishah and syafiq... mjc life would be utterly boring without you PANTATS. so in my language... YAM SENG!
daryl saw cheng lock. no words can express the amount of gratitude i have towards you for the brotherly care you have for me. fetching me back home or to camp even at the wee hours of the morning. despite how tired you are, you never complain nor bear a grudge. and the dedication you put into the riverboat, it is absolutely awe-inspiring. i respect and honour you as my godbrother and good friend. =)
batch 79... brilliant musicians i must say. thanks for inspiring me and bringing out my love for music. to mark seah, timothy yeo, lim shao ming, ronald lai, see kahsiong, nyzem syarul, nelson tan, lee jinjun, zenn chua, paul ng, eng ziguang, andy lee, yuping, reuben eu, lau wenrong and everyone else. it's been a pleasure knowing all of you.
to this special group of people, thanks for enduring all of maswan's and kaylim's eccentricities. all those long parades and the nonsense we had to put up with. you guys are the bomb. thanks for being such a great company. cheers to a new year of parades with ceremonial band b.
and to the two people who made this year SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome. thanks brothers for being ever so patient, accomodating and in every way, loving me for who i am. thanks for making saf band life so great that i am inclined to be extremely dependent on the two of you for company. and so as we count down to the new year, let's look forward to more joyous times as friends. God bless the two of you and keep the both of you in the best of health in the new year. and regardless of the number of quarrels we might have or disagreements, may our friendship stay strong always. love you brothers.
andrew soetiono... thank you for the long calls we have occasionally. it's always a joy to know i have you as my best friend through it all. and i'm glad to know you're growing strong in the Lord Jesus. and as we celebrate the coming of another year... may we continue to stay the best of friends despite the distance between us. all the best in your medicine career. you know you can always count on me to pray for you each time you need it. lots of love and i'll be expecting your arrival very soon.
right now... it's time to leave behind all the unhappiness of the year 2009 and to look forward to great and stronger friendships and a university course. indeed, i pray that God will open up a path for me. at the same time, i hope to get a right partner for me... someone who will spur me on to know the Lord more intimately and who will be someone i can trust and love. by His grace, i'll get that perfect girlfriend.
manddaw
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
what was supposed to be AO to ikea to get the mace holders for the wits project... turned out to be a trip home. instead of dropping off at the bus stop near ikea tampines, i slept all the way on bus 39 to tampines interchange. good game i know. in the end, i just came home to rest and will get the mace holder tmr or something. i'm really not in the mood for this nor do i have the energy. i just wish i could put down everything right now, get a good sleep and not have to constantly worry about everything.
and just when i was about to reach home, i realised i didn't have my camp pass with me. searched frantically through my huge bag to realise that i could have left it clipped onto my no. 3. so right now i'll just have to hope that it's really there. i can't recall where i left my camp pass. sigh, bad things really irk you especially when you're so physically and mentally drained. which reminds me, i had a horrible drills session with maswan just now. terrible i tell you. fking embarrassing. then lewis got me to go swimming for about 10 laps which left me all drained. but nonetheless, i'm still glad i went for that little bit of exercise.
thankfully the whole planning is almost done. i tend to get very irritated by my mum. she's extremely helpful albeit SUPER IMPATIENT AND HIGHLY ERATIC. when she loses her cool, i flare up very easily too after getting it from her. so yes, the catering for food is almost done. the cakes are almost in place. i have a special group of friends who are doing what they can to help me... and I appreciate it. you people know who you are... and i'll give a thorough gratituous post once those two days of partying are over.
yesterday's mj clarinet section outing was... in summary... fun! food at xin wang taiwan @ citylink mall was good. i enjoyed the dishes, the company and all. right now, i feel so lazy just uploading the pictures. but yea, if only chelsea, jingjing and melzoh could come... then it would be another successful clarinet batch outing. but till the next time, 4 of us is good enough. at least we started something. so right now, it's back to the event planner to figure out another suitable date for more people to meet for dinner. probably including jensen, xueying and hsiangyin plus baya and sabrina etc.
anyway, it's time for me to snooze. i'm fking tired from driving. arrrgggghhh... U-turns make me dizzy and panicky! BAH! =X but i'll get thru it, by the grace of God. haha. i can't wait to meet my two closest friends again for countdown. it's going to be different this year i guess. oh well. two more days to a brand new year. night for now... and songhua and conrad, meet up soon!
manddaw
Sunday, December 27, 2009
it's always a joy to go to church... to enter into His presence and His courts with praise. today was a day that i experienced the Lord's love, His mercy and His marvellous love. the moment worship started i sensed His abundant love all around. as we sang out one song after the other, it became clear to me that the Lord was ministering to every single one of us. and the message by Senior Pastor Daniel Foo was so moving, so emotionally thought-provoking that it made me think and ponder about the year 2009.
i kept thanking the Lord for His grace and forgiveness despite the shortcomings and flaws in my life. we were asked to examine ourselves in a way as to present our flaws and sins to Him, and to reconcile with God. in addition, we were asked to be righteous with the Lord, to be right-standing with Him in the days and years to come before the final rapture. because ultimately we have to understand that there is no way to inherit eternal life just by doing good works and all, save for the grace of God.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23
and right now, i'm motivated to pray fervently for the salvation of my brothers and sisters. i was touched by the Lord, in more ways than i can imagine. as we concluded service, all i could do was ask for his forgiveness for disappointing Him in so many areas of my life and the tears just flowed. His mercy, love, grace and truth just worked within me that there was no way to leave the sanctuary without having acknowledged His presence. been years since i cried, and this was it... crying in church because the Lord touched me so deeply. amen amen amen.
i'm going to make it a point in the new year to pray for the people who are closest to me first, before moving onto the wider circle of friends. it is crucial that they know the Lord, His utmost love and His sacrifice on the cross 2000 years ago. =)
and presenting the song that showed God's love, the one that we sang in church today. enjoy and God bless!
manddaw
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Happy Birthday Matin Fellani! You awesome shit. Thanks for rocking my life with your coolness all thru this year. It was fun working with you for the November Puppets, coming up with the gimmicks and all. It was great having you around, with your boisterous charm and infectious laughter. Going to miss you man Matin. Enjoy your UK trip and remember us whilst you're there. Lots of love, James.
Hey Nicholas Yeo, Happy Birthday Bro! You've been that reliable friend all these while and days in MJ wouldn't be complete without you. Thanks for making those long dreary days so much more bearable with your affable and unassuming nature. It's been a real joy being your brother and I wish for only the best for you. Take care and God bless you Nick. Love James.
manddaw
Friday, December 25, 2009
as tired as i am right now, and how badly i want to fall asleep and get a good rest... it's crucial to always know that Jesus Christ was the reason this day came about. his arrival to earth to save ourselves from eternal damnation to everlasting life. =) so before i forget or drift away from the real purpose of Christmas, thank you Jesus for being my salvation. may the coming year signal a closer walk with you and may i be a testimony for you. amen.
so yes, the clock turned 12am almost an hour ago but i was busy packing up after the family/friends dinner at my place. so anyway, Merry Christmas!!! comparing the dinner to last year, food still remains good. yet i'm thankful for what the Lord gave me for my christmas present this year... two FANTASTIC, GOD-GIVEN friends that came for dinner at my place, gorging themselves a little with sumptuous food and being great company. just hope you both enjoyed the dinner full of salt-baked salmon, turkey, lamb, beef and lots of potato salads amongst other dishes. it was my pleasure having you both over... =)
it was a nice reunion dinner i must say... like i said, it's not the presents any more. it's the company that matters and i had a wonderful christmas thanks to a family full of love, and my dearest brothers. Love you all and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
manddaw
Monday, December 21, 2009
counting down to christmas, new year and the biggest event of next year... my 21st. yet before the year ends, i've already been keeping myself busy with guest playing and lots of christmas dinners as well as meet-up sessions with friends. so i'm fruitfully spending my last few days of 2009. BOOMZ!
so yea, performed for NYP alumni band at the verge, little india, two days in a row. not too bad. played some nice pieces with them although the performance could be much better. and it's always nice to have familiar faces around to play with and nice supporters who come all the way down. thanks ah. =)
and jon's christmas party was the start of christmas celebration. aunty made some very nice dishes like the pasta and turkey. but what made the night so special was meeting up and making new friends at jon's. esther, terence, trev and benny. it's always great to make new friends and keep in touch after that especially with awesome friends like them.
terence, jon, benny, esther, trev, me and markseah.
thus begins more nights of merry-making and food. and i'm looking forward to my own christmas dinner. getting my dearest people over. for now, it's back to driving and work tmr. oh well...
manddaw
Saturday, December 19, 2009
i might have mentioned this sometime back... that simple pleasures in life make me contented. simple joys of meeting up with close friends for a few hours and enjoying their company thoroughly. it's what keeps me going even in the most depressing times.
met up with sabby in the morning for a good talk and catch-up session since the last time at starbucks months ago. had a good laugh over many things, from the depressing to the really hilarious. yet, depite it all... having her around was just fabulous cos she livened up the mood for the day. following that, it was a rush to pasir ris to meet abisoh to ask her to get the docorations for my 21st. likewise, had a rather fun time reminiscing the good old times during vincent's hellish sectionals in mjcsb days.
rushed down for nyp practice after having dinner with conrad and fhairil at velocity prior to practice. had a nice meal at donut factory for a cheap $5.90 consisting of a main meal, a drink and a small donut. not too bad although i wished i bought my usual box of 9 donuts to consume. oh well, my brother sure scold me for constantly eating... so i decided against it anyway.
practice was not too bad. sightread the pieces yesterday and the performance is later. haha. so unprepared but well, going to just enjoy playing the pieces anyway. but let's just forget about band for the moment cos movie with songhua and conrad was like WOW. once again, another action-packed movie. my eyes have been treated to a constant array of blood and action. reminds me of my late maternal granddad. used to watch lots of these kind of movies with him. the movie ended like almost 1.10am and whilst the other two went home, i waited for almost half an hour for the night bus to arrive. didn't want to trouble any of them especially since both of them live far from me. 如果叫他们送我回家，我真的不配做他们的兄弟。我宁可给他们早点回家休息.
for now, it's some time alone to reflect.
manddaw
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
today was a total waste of time... instead of doing productive work in planning my 21st, new zealand trip, calling up seagate to check on the replacement of my maxtor adaptor, booking driving lessons, doing ee ee gloria's work, researching on university courses, i spent the whole day on facebook... LIKE WHAT THE HECK??? playing RESTAURANT CITY!!! and profile hopping. sometimes you get so pissed with yourself you really don't know what else to say.
so nvr get me started on any game... especially those that require you to check up on it constantly. darn. i'm going to leave it after tonight... like check up on it only when the need arises.
spent the late afternoon at vivocity cos i was dragged along by my mum. in the end, i didn't join her and aunt stella on their catch-up session. wandered around vivo on my own, looking through stuff and just reflecting on consumerism and all. finished off my walkabout at pageone bookshop where i just sat down for an hour or so, reading books on literature and some on leadership/how to strengthen your friendships etc. it made me think once again of all my friends... whether i'm just a passing fad or one that people really do cherish. sigh, i really hate it when these real question strike you, jolting you back from dreamland and your make-believe world.
if only my utopia really existed with all the qualities i want imposed... i'll be truly happy. as for now, reality just dealt me a huge slap. i keep asking myself where do i stand as far as our friendship is concerned... if you can help me answer this question, i wouldn't mind hearing it from you. for now, i'm going to rest and prepare for the remaining hectic week as well as the next three weeks or so.
God, may your hands guide that of the dentist tmr as bro goes for his tooth extraction. let the blood of jesus cover him that he'll not feel much pain. keep him calm throughout the extraction and give him a good rest in the coming days. in your precious name i pray, amen.
manddaw
Monday, December 14, 2009
a nice start to a monday... meeting my dearest adik khairul nizam at tampines one, passing him his present for his belated 18th birthday and chatting with him for more than an hour plus. talked about almost everything we could think of... miss the junior of mine! glad he loved the present and thanks for the flattery my dear adik. walked around tampines alone to window shop. been a long time since i had some personal time to do some window shopping without having to rush. somehow it felt fun walking around tampines mall alone, taking my time. LIBERATING this feeling.
i should do some more window shopping alone. then maybe i'll stop bugging my two brothers all the time. i hope they don't find me a nuisance. =X
manddaw
Saturday, December 12, 2009
no amount of thank yous will be enough to express the overwhelming gratitude towards conn and songhua. having eyed the pedro shoe for some time, they got it for me for my christmas present this year. and despite it being such a tiring and hot day, they accompanied me through bugis to find it. thankfully they felt the shoes looked decent. so right now, i just want to acknowledge these two awesome friends for making christmas 2009 so brilliant. =)
my brand new pedro shoes... finally something decent to wear for concerts.
it's time to start work again after having a nice night at grand mercure roxy, playing wii and talking, all in the comfort of the junior suite which i managed to get. or rather my mum asked me to stay over since we had to use the complimentary free stay before the year ended. yet, the plan to stay up to play wii or the likes failed cos songhua, conrad and i fell asleep by 1am. yet, it was a time nicely spent, peaceful and with a restful sleep. just hope they enjoyed themselves, as much as i had. thank you so much for everything bros.
so once again, thank you my two brothers for the pedro shoes.
for now, it's good night, one year soldier... time to start counting down to ord in 12 months time.
God bless you both!
manddaw
Thursday, December 10, 2009
sometimes i feel so jaded having to put in effort for so many things, and end up not being appreciated. is it worth it? will putting in my all be enough for people to know i care, for a true friendship to be sustained... or am i just a friend to be used and discarded once another one comes along? arduous as life's journey is, i cherish my friends and i hope that the latter scenario doesn't happen. i don't want to find myself in the "thrash", battered, bruised and helpless. it hurts and i hope you know it.
manddaw
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
it's time to look forward to christmas, holidays and lots of catch up sessions with the tons of friends i've neglected over the months. yes, we've completed the last major parade in pulau tekong. no more ANNOYING OBLADI OBLADA to frustrate me. I OFFICIALLY HATE THAT SONG. sing it and you'll get it from me. =) i've got ugly beret tan lines across my forehead due to three long days of hot rehearsals and stuff. arrghhh... and pimples that start appearing cos i don't have enough rest from the POP rehearsals.
and timothy yeo and david wong have to get MCs to miss POP. one's down with food poisoning and the other has heat exhaustion. sigh. oh well, at least now the parade is over, i can stop playing fffff thru out. early block leave for the both of them i must say. CHAO KENG! and i'm glad to say i finally met ADI at tekong. freaking MIA sia that sergeant. he actually recognised me from afar and asked a few saf band people whether i was around. that's adi for you. =)
tmr's sentosa AGAIN with a much bigger group of people. band b's R&R yet again... for the hard work put in for POP and all. it's time to sit back and relax, enjoy a bit of the sun and play some volleyball and frisbee. i need to burn off some fats and start preparing for all the reunion meals with the relatives in case they start asking me why i put on weight during my army days. sigh.
so to the various groups of people... let's party! songhua and conrad, omg... NEW ZEALAND's beckoning!ken, darren... when's the next meet-up?falcons... lunch/dinner soon?!?! =) i'm excited what the rest of december will bring. just hope everything fits nicely into my schedule.
p.s. hope you love the everlast singlet blake. =)
manddaw
Saturday, December 05, 2009
in a night as cold as this, all i feel right now is anger, disappointment and frustration. and i thought my 21st would be a dream... something so awesome, i will remember it for the rest of my life. yet, even before the party has begun, i'm feeling so helpless and all. there's this huge urge to cancel the whole 21st celebration and to just keep it simple. no dinner, nothing. but i don't know how... cos i've sent out the invitations thru facebook to all the closest friends. and what my mother keeps repeating time and again is "i'm not going to your party. there's too many people. it's going to be chaotic. i don't think the food is going to be enough." IS THAT ALL YOU CAN FUCKING DO FOR MY 21ST? SULK AND THROW INSULTS?
right now, all i wanna do is cancel the whole thing, meet up with the relevant groups of friends in small batches and probably take a trip away from my family. AWAY AND I MEAN AWAY... with only two of my brothers to celebrate my 21st. why did i even begin planning? i should have known that with uncooperative parents, the party would just be a flop. having the party might not make me happy, but in the end, it might make me even more upset and angsty. arrrggghhh... i guess God wants me to take it in stride. the devil is always at work when it comes to one's life. he's the best at sowing discord and causing so much hatred and unhappiness and, i have been a COMPLETE FOOL, to be trapped with so much anger.
i'm really exhausted from quarrelling with my mum. i need a getaway. i need my friends cos in a time like this, i don't want to turn to my family. it hurts too badly. so if you ask me whether i'm continuing with the 21st celebration, i'm not too sure. will there be a cake? forget it... i'll just starve myself till i die. but regardless of how pissed i am, i know there are friends out there i can rely on and i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
apparently, the only thing keeping me smiling right now was lunch with izzati, zul and syafiq at the airport... as well as audrey's 21st. met up with a number of tk friends, especially the close ones like AUDREY, andrea, adrian, gelina, nicholas, jianxin and xiufu. had such a good time today that i don't think sitting here sulking would do me good. i'm going to bed with good memories of today.
meeting with izzati, zul and syafiq.
jianxin, me and nicholas
with my godsis and godbro
adrian wong pak ho, who lost his way
glen, audrey and me
dearest audrey and me <3
sigh, please God... make the anguish and pain go away and fill me with thy peace and joy. let only the good things remain. amen.
manddaw
Thursday, December 03, 2009
it's already december 3rd... have to finalise all my birthday plans soon even if it means being absolutely firm with my mother. she's creating all sorts of problems for me. keeps criticising the places i want to have it at, saying she's not going to pay for it and stuff like that. sometimes, i really don't like coming home. all i get is negativity and unhappiness. BE THAT WAY... i can stay out if you wanna nag all you want. and since you don't want to cough out any money for the birthday, I'M FINE WITH THAT TOO! stop being such a wet blanket. IT'S MY TWENTY FIRST AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO SPOIL IT FOR ME. i don't even need you to get me a present and if you don't like the place, you don't have to be present like what you told me just now.
arrrggghhh... i need to cool down. i shall relax and go sleep right now and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
manddaw
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
wad a long day today is... and goodness me, it's already 1st december. =X i'm so freaking tired but i should churn out something in case daryl saw or blake chan reads this.
anyway, the last few days were AWESOME TO THE MAX! had the tk band concert at the esplanade. the maiden performance at the esplanade. such a noob i know. haha... thought it was going to be horrible. but well, i felt it went not too bad. like what songhua said, it could be better. so yea, if mr lawrence siao calls me back to tk, i wouldn't mind playing for the next tk band concert, on a condition that we play NICER PIECES and that mr siao conducts. no more noob student conductors please? if only i had more time to interact with the tk and kasetsart university wind symphony clarinetists. still lots to learn from guest bands. just glad i was given the chance to play. =)
pattalapol... hey there.
tk band alumni clarinet section
kangwei, me, belinda
thanks for turning up dear seniors... hope to see you back next year for a much better concert. BOOMZ!
what can be better than seeing your own batchmates there. haha... with romario, michelle and kenneth
and these two guys are darn supportive. thanks ah my dear besties... glad you both enjoyed the concert. now to find "exultate!" =)
~~~
next, it was a rather impromptu meet-up with my two mj brothers, ken and darren. spent time at whitesands subway chatting for a few hours regarding army and all. just glad the two of them are doing well and still keeping in touch. thanks bros... can't wait to meet up again. =) will upload the tons of pictures which we ONCE AGAIN took at the bus stop. haha. seems like we have an affinity with bus stops.
on ken's 19th birthday at tanah merah mrt station... will upload the newly taken ones when ken uploads them.
~~~
so anyway, today had full band with maswan in the morning to touch up on our music for cog support and bmt next week. need to improve a lot more and david wong is going to help me. haha... took afternoon off to donate blood with songhua. finally got it out of the way again.
I'M ADDICTED TO BLOOD DONATION?!?! haha... shall we try the apheresis donation soon bro?
then it was off for some window shopping at orchard before we settled down at stewords riverboat for a sumptuous dinner of texan mexican fare. and i'm glad conn and songhua both enjoyed the food. i'm putting together my team of event planners and coordinating personnel to help in the planning and running of my 21st. =) thank God for awesome friends like these. and thank you so much daryl saw for being there and helping us thru. MEXICALI CHICKEN, CHICKEN CHIMICHANGAS, BBQ BABY BACK RIBS, WEDGES etc... i'll contact you soon. i had a wonderful night. thanks brothers... songhua, conrad and daryl. =)
my event organisers. =)
not forgetting the person who it made all possible. thank you daryl. =)
manddaw
